Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
