we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
