Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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