Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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