i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
