dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
