okay pat passed out under dana's car
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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