i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
