She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
