Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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