Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
