I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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