I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
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bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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