I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A+ Viking dick
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
