Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
