i think my tv is drunk
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
