come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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