I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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