i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
