How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
