Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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