Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
