so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
