Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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