In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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