Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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