Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
