Umm I'm too high to move.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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