one word: firstdatebathroomanal
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
