I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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