They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
