did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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