Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
