wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
two words...techno handjob
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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