I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
