Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
