beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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