the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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