Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
