Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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