Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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