a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
