You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
