Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize