She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The Olympian is in my bed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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