I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's not a walk of shame if you run
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
