So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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