I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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