I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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