ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
