I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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