I have demons in me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
