Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
