porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
honey bunches of taint.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
