Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
