good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
