Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
